Recall a couple of weeks ago I was troubled and stumped with math. I felt unmotivated, intimidated, and stuck (late January) realizing how much advanced math I would need to get good at to figure out my research problems, to do my literature review, to understand most of the technical journal articles that I am using as reference… to become a truly good scientist/engineer. For me, much intermediate math are long forgotten at best. Advanced math? Entirely alien.
Well. Things have gotten a tad better since then. No, I am still no better at math than I was in January. I’m still pitiful, still haven’t gotten to Green’s theorem and triple integrals or relearned statistical analysis.
What’s very different, and I believe a grand improvement, is that I’ve found some things that have completely changed my attitude about math. I’m just a week or so into these “Wonderland” material, and still have long ways to go before finishing. But I am already so overwhelm with new joy and excitement that I must share: a book, “The Mathematical Universe” by William Dunham, and some websites, including “Paul’s Online Math Notes” from Lamar University and “The Feynman Lectures on Physics” from Caltech. In the absence of a real math professor, these resources really turned me around. They turned my bitter pouts and sourly grimaces into wide-eyed bedazzlement, joyous squeals, and glowing rosy-cheeks. They made my Valentine’s day probably the best I’ve ever had!! I was totally alone in the , without candy, without flowers, without suitors nor love interests, without any of the normal “what makes a girl happy” stuff, but I was blissed out. On MATH.
Reading these websites and book make me feel young again; they rekindle my childhood love for mathematics. I feel as though I am riding the time machine of mathematics back into an age of innocence. In our present day world with technologies and sciences expiring every second, math never expires. It remains eternally pure. And as I just turned another year older last week, how comforting it is to find that the same math is still waiting for me, just as when I’d left it more than a dozen years ago. No lover can be more loyal or as romantic!
Being able to indulging in the mathematical adventures of Euler, Leibniz, even modern Richard Feynman, and partaking in their ecstatic discoveries, is truly a luxury. Math is pure magic… amazing and brilliant. Being in awe of the witnessing of this invisible, yet perfect science helps me develop comfort with the idea that it will be one of the most important weapons I will be using in acoustical research, if I were to pursue a career dedicated to acoustics. I feel like a warrior staring at my future blade through a glass display case, though I don’t yet know how to wield it and the full extent of its power. At least I don’t fear, abhor, or shun it any longer. I don’t yet know if these resources have improve my math at all, but I know they have renewed my spirits and refreshed my attitude. I’ve received new strength and inspiration to continue in my research work. So on I go!